This is Rather Pathetic

So, no post because I've been busy.  It's a busyness of the self-inflicted kind.  And I haven't thought of much to write.  Actually, that's not true... I've thought of some things but I haven't taken the time to expound.

I had to tell Janell Wright I couldn't hang out with her tonight because I'm getting sick.  I had my first migraine on Thursday (due to some Wednesday events, I think), travelled to Florida that evening, spent a rather stressful long weekend with relatives, went to a beautiful wedding and reception for Emily and Perry, and then back to a busy week at work. (Wow, I just wrote 'school' instead of 'work.' Ironic.)

I'm watching "Ice Age 2" and I think a baby mammoth is pretty much the cutest animated thing I've ever seen.

I'm looking forward to my new project-- getting some of my friends who've been through a one or a couple crazy years to write about this time of transition.  We're twentysomethings; we're privileged, educated, intelligent, and motivated but hard to please. I want us all to look at where we are at this moment, in this in-betweeny stage, and take stock. We spend so much time reflecting on the past and learning from our experiences, which is good-- don't get me wrong.  But I want to do more than look behind, and I want to do more than look ahead at what's next.  That's probably even more tempting: to always be dwelling on the future and never appreciating the Now.

CS Lewis said that's where eternity meets us-- in the present.  We are impotent to change the past and we are wasting what Time we have by anticipating what's next. So, I want us all to look at our Now. Where are we, and why?  What are we headed towards and are we doing what we need to do to get there?

I feel like I'm in a pathetic state at the moment only because I'm sick, overtired, and haven't been able to work out since Sunday. My last free night was May 2 and I won't have another until June 7, most likely. I'm not doing a good job of balancing my life, but I just hate being bored. And life is crazy and things have happened and are happening which stress me out.

But... I'm excited for this project.  I'm excited to see what everyone has to say.

If I haven't talked to you about it yet (I'm trying to talk to everybody individually) and you'd be willing to write me something, please let me know.

...One Year Later...

A serendipitous discovery this afternoon-- I started my blog one year ago today. Obviously, I haven't written very often in said year, but I think I can see a distinct evolution over the 366 (leap year!) days since April 23, 2007. I'm also getting more regular in my public self-discovery.

Writing a blog this year has been a way to compose my thoughts and questions, to formalize some part of what I journal every few days. (I have 14 journals to date, which hopefully no one other than myself will ever read.) Growing up is such a monumental pain in the ass that maybe documenting it will be somewhat enlightening/entertaining/educational.

I'm still trying to figure myself out, as well as whatever this "adult" life is about. I have started two new jobs in two new cities with two new roommates, one rather white-collar and one rather blue-collar (the jobs, not the roommates). I do feel more daily joy than I did 12 months ago and I think about Jason every hour or so rather than every 10 minutes. But I've lost another dear friend and dealing with death is a more common occupation than I had ever imagined it would be at this age. My customers think of me as a kid... Probably because I still look like one. And this uniform get-up doesn't help much either.

I went to Jason's grave in Kentucky last weekend with Tiffany, Becca, and his parents. It was a strange combination of frustrating and satisfying. Satisfying because I finally got to see where he went at least twice a year with his parents, and where his parents grew up, and where he stayed over Christmases when we'd talk on the phone. I now understand a lot that I didn't. Frustrating because I went to a beautiful cemetery on top of a green hill with a blue sky & puffy clouds above in the charming countryside and farmland of Kentucky... and Jason wasn't there. I'm glad his body is there; when Jesus comes to establish his rule on this earth, that's the first thing Jason will see when he's resurrected... unless he comes in the clouds with Jesus, and I'm not 100% sure what it will really look like. But anyway. I think he'd be glad to be buried there. There are all these stones at the cemetery that say, "If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd go right up to heaven and bring you back again." I wouldn't. I'd stay there with him. If I died and somebody came up and said, "I'm taking you back to earth, let's go." I'd say, "Piss off. I'm having a great time right here; thanks. Ain't no way I want to go back there, you kidding me?"

I do like that they have "Decoration" on Memorial Day weekend. The families of the people buried there all come with picnics and decorate all the gravestones of their loved ones and their long-gone family. It's a Southern dia de los muertos... the remnant of the small-town Americana community. Mrs Ray said that if anybody has family left, their grave is decorated. I think that's awesome.

Enough about that. For now.

Happy birthday (yesterday), Tiffany ~ Hi, Jeremy ~ Welcome, little Levi Daniel ~ I miss you, Lauren ~ Can't wait to see you, Amy

Over and out.

Weird Sleep Hypothetical Question That I Just Thought Of

Ok, so a wizard comes to you and says, "You can choose how long you will be in this magical sleep.  When you wake up, you will not have to sleep for those hours that you slept magically until you use them all up. For example, if you sleep for four hours, those four hours will count towards your need for four hours' worth of sleep at another point in the future.  You can choose when to use those hours. If you slept for twenty years, you'd have twenty years of sleep stored up. But, when you awake, time will have passed normally, and you will miss whatever happened while you were sleeping. Also, your life will be the same number of years including your magical sleep. (If you were to sleep from 23 to 25 and you were going to die at 73, you still will-- you won't live to 75.)"

How long would you sleep?