"The end of the year," or, "apathy."

Good riddance. 2007 is gone...

Wow, thank you all so very, very much! I didn't deserve this; I'm stunned! There were so many other better actors up for this. I want to thank my God and my family for their love and support. I couldn't have done it without You/you, and my hope is that it will all go down in history, but that my legacy will be more than this one year...

On to a different train of thought... ("all aboard!") Why is apathy so admired but passion is so attractive? Is that just with regards to young people? Why do I so often want to be passionate but can't manage it; why do I feel empty and bored, but in a malaise where I can't muster the energy to change? It's not quite the "slough of despond;" it's more like those Saturday mornings when I was a kid and would watch 3 hours of cartoons and then was good for nothing the rest of the day. Television will do that to you. And so will working and working and working and doing it all on my own and in my own strength just because "I can" and there's no need for that special Infusion that I look for and ask for in the "hard" times. This apathy that I personally feel and that I speak with my friends about... this inability to act, to breathe it all in, to live abundantly... what is the remedy?

Here we are/the broken and used/mistreated, abused/here we are
Here You are/the beautiful one/who came like the sun/here You are...
he is the one who has saved us/he is the one who embraced us/he is the one who has come and is coming again/he's the remedy
here we are/bandaged and bruised/awaiting a cure/here we are
here you are/our beautiful king/bringing relief/here you are...
he is the one who has saved us/he's the one who forgave us/he's the one who has come and is coming again/he's the remedy

I just want to live as I know I can... with that power in me that was in Christ Jesus... the very same power that raised him from the dead. I think if I lived like I believed that, it'd be earth-shattering. In a good way.

Happy 2008, everybody.

Flouride treatments...

My new dentist said all I need to do is use mouthwash. He said flossing is good but listerine is better. He said I need a night-guard b/c I grind my teeth at night (euw), but I don't need the 2 fillings that the other dentist said I needed. Whatever. I have to kill the germs in my mouth because the bacteria is what causes tooth decay and bad breath. Not that I have bad breath... except in the mornings. But who doesn't?

Bobby Frasor got injured last night in the Nevada game. I bet Mary is heartbroken. But at least it wasn't Danny or Tyler or Ty. Q is going to have to step up. I realized a few days ago that I judge Yankees and Patriots fans because their team always wins. Only losers go for teams that always win... that's too easy. Fandom should be difficult and trying and passionate and heartwrenching. But then I realized I'm a Carolina basketball fan. And we are 12-0 and rated #1. Can't get much more insufferable than that.

I like the word "preposterous."

I get sad thinking about all the people I've loved and lost. God, protect and keep them.

Sorry for the sentimentality. It's the music-- it always does that to me. Certain artists especially... Snow Patrol (SO emo), Damien Rice (same)... I guess it's the emo factor that makes me feel like crying for no good reason.

I wrote the above last night and then more after that but I lost it b/c of my internet connection. The amazing literary feat that was my writing is now lost from the world forever. Sad. I think I started writing about boys and how they are unreliable... no, it was about how maybe you can miss one's soulmate. By that, I mean, just for a time... I think maybe your paths cross again.

Oh, and...

... today is 9 months since Jason died.  I consider the more important day to be the 23rd, but it was March 26th when he went to Jesus.