oh, lovely; i think i just heard my roommate having sex with her quebecois boyfriend. lovely. further underlines my conviction to move out. he comes every monday through wednesday. i have friends here a lot too, but they're here on the WEEKEND. not a work night. and she doesn't do her dishes.
anyway, back to the topic at hand. boys are (almost) all the same. they see one or two good qualities and decide i'm worth investigating further. then they decide the cons outweigh the pros. or i make it clear they're wasting their time because as far as i'm concerned, they're not my prince charming.
not that i need the One Prince Charming. i need A prince charming. there are many, from what i hear. everyone can be one if they would just try. i know i can be a good girlfriend. if i am happy, i can make him happy, whoever 'he' is. if i'm not happy, we shouldn't be together. i feel like i have to make somebody see that i'm worth whatever it takes. but that's not my job. it's not the job of a treasure to be found; it's the job of the pirate. where's my pirate?
but i'm happy to be single. i can make my own decisions and live my own life without thinking of anyone else. i have a lot of freedom right now. incredibly, i've been single now for just over 11 months... 'jason-less janel' is an interesting person to get to know. i definitely like her more than i liked 'janel, jason's girlfriend.' that's who i was for 3 years. some of her was good and some of her was bad. but for better or worse, i need to always be simply janel, without consideration or regard for a man.
i suppose identity is intensely personal, until marriage. we are identified with communities, but only i have a particular amalgamation of communities in my identity. our family, our work, our graduating class, our roommates, our past all combine to create a community-ful but individual identity.
so i can be janel-- a blanchard, a follower of Jesus, a member of the950 and of ourfriends, blake/wayzata/east class of 03, carolina class of 07, (current) employee of TransPerfect, (current) resident of DC, native of mebane/plymouth/chapel hill, traveller to Cuba, and sundry other identities-- but if you notice, i did not mention one person... except Jesus.
one day i'll hopefully mention another person in such a list. but until then, i'm just simply me.
2 comments:
What's the name of the artist who sings this song? I've been looking for it, but I can't remember the song name or who did it. (Nice to see Jesus is the one your seeking.)
It's actually the Urban Sophisticates.
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