My next car

My next car will hopefully be new, because I will drive the one I have in all of its 1997 beige glory for about 5 more years until they produce...

(drum roll please)... the hybrid convertible!!! I really want a convertible, and I want it to be a hybrid because I love the planet.

Five years from now will be 2013. I will be 28 years old and hopefully own a home and have paid off all my loans. I will be semi-grown-up.

What has been happening in my life? I hurt my back but I feel better. I'm going to start working out again on Monday because I am FAT!! And because I miss working out... I feel kinda lackadaisical.

I had an interesting thought two days ago and then talked to Ellen about it. See, I know myself pretty well, and I realized that I am not the kind of person that would ever care about spiritual things. It's not "me." I'm not into churchy stuff, or rules, or thinking about anybody other than myself. I'm self-centered, prideful, and snobby. I'm generally not a very nice person.

So why then do I care? Why do I pray and read and journal and sing praises and go to church when I'm by myself? It's so God. I'm not like my brother; I'm really not a religious person. I wouldn't care what God thinks; I remember back when I didn't. I remember that rebellion and hard-heartedness and conscience-ignoring that was my inner spirit when I was 14. When God changes somebody, he does so from the inside. And so more and more, over the past nine years, that inside change is (hopefully) showing up on the outside.

It's so cliche, but it really is being born again. Being changed beyond recognition. Being so different that when I look back on my natural tendencies, I can't even believe he's brought me so far. And the funny thing is that it moves so slowly, I sometimes think this is who I naturally am, and that leads to more pride, when in reality it's such a reason for gratefulness!