Jealousy

I hope that by naming these things to the world, they will have less power over me.

"Things of which I am jealous"
aka "If you have these things, I'm jealous of you"

steady jobs
comfy apartments
championship rings (especially Super Bowl)
designer perfumes
size 0
husbands
fiances
boyfriends
famous acquaintances/friends
pretty/fat babies
artistic talent
musical talent
dramatic talent
really impressive athletic talent
convertibles
hybrid luxury cars
spot on NASCAR circuit
patience
purpose
the ability to eat noodles, bread, bagels, cookies, brownies, cake, twizzlers, soy sauce, pizza, etc without repercussions
international savvy
multilinguality (I know that's not a word)
private jets
odd but super-cool fashion sense
the ability to buy cheap-and-comfy sexy shoes
law degree
doctoral degree
various other advanced degrees