So, I've been thinking about living inside Time. We're on this straight line (a timeline if you will), and we can't see the Future but we obsess over it, and we can't change the Past but we obsess over it, and we never care what we're doing with our Present. CS Lewis said something along the lines of "The Present is where Eternity touches us." In essence, we really control only what is happening now, in this very moment. There’s no power except in this second. I think it was in the Screwtape Letters; the devils tried to get people to focus only on the past (futile) or the future (equally futile, plus distressing and worrisome).
Now is when we establish patterns, when we practice consistency or, to use a Christian word, faithfulness. Why is consistency and reliability such an emphasis in society? Because we live in time. Something has to be done over and over to be established, permanent, or trustworthy. We’ll be known by our fruit, not that one time we did one good thing.
One day is just that—only one day. January 1 begins a year; December 31 ends it; those are just dates. But we view our lives as within hours within days within weeks… you get the picture. It’s the only way we can handle it. We compartmentalize our worlds and our lives into digestible units. And so, I think that a new year allows me to draw a new mental breath and (at least psychologically) start afresh.
And I, for one, know that I need that. We all need a chance to wipe the slate clean and begin again… a new day. God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, but we are barely the same on Tuesday as on Monday. (I am especially unreliable on Tuesdays.)
Now, I’m not good at “summing up” these blogs that are (not quite at all) as rambling as my thoughts… but I have yet another observation about our humanity. We are horrible at realizing the most fundamental truths of our Selves’ settings. We are in Time; we have only this Moment in which to act; we must not lose another second.
In 2007, I lost the person who changed me more than any other, except perhaps my parents. I don’t know whom I will lose next. Death is a part of life, and only now am I realizing what the Fall means. I talked to Becca about that yesterday… losing innocence was one of the tragedies suffered by Adam and Eve, and it’s a tragedy I suffered last year. On January 9, my heart was broken; on March 23, my world (temporarily, but no less powerfully) shattered.
Father, thank You for not deserting me when I felt like deserting You. God is not good because life is good; God is good whether or not life is good. Sometimes life is good (thank You); sometimes life is not good (thank You).
How am I going to live this one life? For myself or for others? With regard for the brevity and fragility of human life, or with disdain for the children of God that are perishing around me? (Why does my heart bleed for the poor but I am spiteful towards those around me? Why do we all hate hypocrisy and yet harbor it in our hearts?)
It may be miles and miles/before the journey’s clear/there may be rivers, may be oceans of tears
And the very hand that shields your eyes from understanding/is the hand that will be holding you for miles…
And one moment someone whispers “thank You”/just then, another voice cries “how could You?”/when Jesus, who sees us/he says I hear you/and I’m near you
More on time later; it fascinates me.
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